We started off our pastoral career as Singles Pastors and we were very effective.  We truly loved the beautiful transformation that happened within our Singles daily,   We built it on a very strong Foundation that the Lord gave to my Husband.  We were in that position for a while with some incredible episodes of life but one truly stands out that I simply must share with you.  Since my Husband and I both have incredible Counseling Gifts, we counseled our Singles all of the time.  One particular Lady that I will call Nicola came to see me because she had just got engaged to marry one of our Singles Bible Study Men named Deon (Not real name).  As her Pastor, I objected and told her that he was very physically abusive.  She thought that that was simply incredulous because she commenced to tell me of how warm, tender and sensitive he was in their prayer meetings because he was always moved to tears during prayer.  I knew then that it was essential that she believed me because I knew that the spirit of loneliness had already seduced her.

Nicola was usually a very level-headed deeply spiritual woman with a strong  spiritual background in the Word of God and prayer.  I just could not allow Loneliness to seduce her and bring unnecessary complications  and emotional hardship into her life.  She ask me how I could make that claim without knowing him intimately.  I told her that God had me prophetically praying for that wounded part of his own soul during our weekly Bible Study that he was a part of.  I also knew that he was overly bonded to his Mother and never matured in the fullness of healthy masculinity.  My Husband nor I had ever personally talked to Deon yet she was amazed that God had shared so much of him with me but God wanted Deon liberated not married.  I then gave her a teaching on the seductive powers of loneliness to ensnare the strong yet disillusioned Believers who had not yet gotten married.  She heard me but told me respectively point-blank that they would marry still because she knew it was right.  I was indeed disappointed but had to release her in a very loving way assuring her that i would be here for her. 

She came back for another appointment a full year later as a deeply repentant divorced Lady with a testimony of physical abuse.  She recognized that the demonic power of loneliness over her caused her to do the following things:

  • Marriage  became an Idol of affirmation for her and desperation called to her.
  • Did not see the need to come to us for healing and transformation of her own soul before marriage.
  • Not respecting the wise counsel of her Singles Pastor regarding the marriage.
  • She compromised her boundary of the importance of Premarital Counsel.
  • Became led only by her emotional cry rather that the voice of the Holy Spirit of Christ.
  • Allowed feeling of hopelessness to supersede God’s promise of marriage for her.
  • Gave her age a louder voice  than God’s promises to her.
  • Did not take the time to learn who the man of God was in weaknesses and strengths.

Redemptive Christian Counseling is located at 2340 E. Trinity Mills Rd in  Carrollton, Tx  75006 is here for you at 972-478-4340 with Pastor Jerry  Ruffin


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